Update: Three of the winners have been notified by email. We are waiting for the judges’ decisions on the fourth category. Once we have heard from all four winners that they can attend, we will announce the winners. Hopefully on Monday.

Thank you to all who entered. This was quite an avalanche!

Enter to win a Scholarship to the 2023 Santa Barbara Writers Conference, June 18-23
• No entry fee

• You may share this opportunity with others.

• There are 4 categories. You are welcome to enter each category. One entry per email. One entry per category, per person.

• Send entries by attached Word Doc or PDF to sbwc.mascot@gmail.com
Contact information should include:

Name · Phone number · Email address · Mailing address

• Put category of entry in the email subject line.

• This must be your original work.

• Scholarship recipients must be able to attend the conference this year. If not, the scholarship will be awarded to a runner-up.

Contest opens: NOW April 14, 2023. Submission period closes MIDNIGHT, Monday, May 1, 2023 PDT. Submission period is 2 weeks, so don’t procrastinate.

Four full tuition scholarships to the 2023 Santa Barbara Writers Conference will be awarded ($799 value, each). SBWC reserves the option of awarding more than one scholarship in a particular category, if any other category lacks a winner. But the goal will be to have four winners total from the four categories.

Scholarship recipients must be able to attend the conference this year. If not, the full scholarship will be awarded to a runner up.

Winners will be announced approximately one week after the contests close, as soon as the judges have completed their work.

Categories:

FICTION: Limit 500 words. This may be the opening of longer fiction or an entire flash fiction story. Please indicate which in your cover email.
NONFICTION: Limit 500 words. This can be a short essay, memoir piece, or the opening to a longer nonfiction piece. Please indicate which in your cover email
POETRY: Limit 50 lines
HUMOR: Limit 500 words. Judges will look for the funny factor, as well as general excellence in writing. For extra credit include the element of death in your piece. Let’s whistle past the graveyard. Funny things happen at funerals. Or you know, when the goldfish died, and you had to__________.

The humor contest is in honor the infamous SBWC Humor Workshop Leader Ian Bernard. See earlier blog post about him. https://www.sbwriters.com/blog/2023/4/11/ian-bernard-august-17-1930-to-november-30-2022

The judging teams will look for writing excellence appropriate to each category. All the judges are award-winning, published authors who are associated with SBWC. We do not announce the names of the judges.

Although it’s been over 20 years since Ian Bernard was the humor workshop leader at SBWC during the “Miramar Days,” many of us remember him well. We asked Ernie Witham, our current humor workshop leader, to share some of his memories of Ian’s workshop.

There was one thing you quickly learned at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference at the old Miramar Hotel. If you wanted a seat in Ian Bernard’s Humor Workshop… Don’t be late! And by seat, I mean everything from the couch, to the assorted chairs, bar stools, cushions, and every available inch of not-all-that-new carpet.

The second thing you learned was that while others were socializing and getting ready for a laugh-filled afternoon… Get your name on the sign-up-sheet right away! Otherwise it might be a day or two before you had a chance to read. That’s how popular Ian’s workshop was.

Ian did not lecture. He didn’t offer a lot of tips and techniques. He just had people read. Then he told you what worked and what didn’t and why. And he was not one to mince words! “That’s not only not funny, there’s a giant balloon hanging over it saying ‘So What?’”

Sometimes, Ian would take a few moments to tell us about his days working as musical director for the highly successful 1968-1973 TV comedy program, Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. “You never saw a more serious-looking bunch than the comedy writers on that show,” Ian told us.

Ian was also a child actor. At the age of seven he was labeled as “Windsor’s Wonder Boy of Song and Dance.” Among movie roles, he acted with Shirley Temple and Cary Grant in the 1947 movie, "The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer.” Later, he played piano for Rosemary Clooney and arranged and produced albums for singers, including Vic Damone and Dick Haymes. He was an amazing jazz pianist and served as president of the Santa Barbara Jazz Society. He guest conducted the San Francisco Symphony for a year with Weslia Whitfield and Michael Feinstein. He also produced an album for Michael Feinstein and went on tour with him, performing at Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts and in Washington DC. And he did the film scores for several independent films.

Ian was the author of two books: “Film and Television Acting: From stage to screen” of which Harrison Ford stated: “I suppose if I had to say that someone discovered me, it would be Ian Bernard.” Ian also authored “Writing Humor: Giving a Comedic Touch to All Form of Writing.” And he wrote the screenplays for “Synanon” and “Oh Dad Poor Dad.”

But when it came to his humor workshop, like so many of us in that room, Ian was really there to laugh. And he had a big booming laugh. If you could make Ian Bernard laugh, you were having a good day.

Another great thing about Ian was he knew a lot of really funny people, like Fannie Flagg, who would stop by his workshop whenever she was going to be the evening speaker. Or Steve Allen, from the old Tonight Show. Or Arte Johnson, one of the stars of Laugh In. Or humor novelist, Christopher Moore.

And, of course, Peanuts creator, Charles Schulz, who attended the conference every year (with son Monte), would stop by for a least one afternoon session. It all added to the energy and fun in that “modest” hotel room.

And then there would be a day when Ian would tell all us regulars to make sure we attended that day’s session because Jonathan Winters was going to be there. He would also tell us not to spread it around because the other workshop leaders were not happy when everyone ditched their workshops to go meet bigger-than-life Jonathan Winters, who would hold court out on the lawn before and after Ian’s workshop, telling stories, doing hung-dog faces and doing his famous Maude Frickert impressions.

I was fortunate to be part of those workshops for more than 10 years and honed my humor skills trying my hardest to be as funny as some of the other really funny people who became a core group of attendees year after year. Ian went beyond his role as workshop leader to mentor advise and encourage writers who showed promise, oftentimes for free. A number of us joined a private workshop with Ian held in the months after the conference to work on longer humorous works.

It’s no exaggeration to say Ian Bernard had a big influence on my life. I can still hear you laughing, my friend.

Ernie Witham

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